(Editing) "He" is Beautiful

Every Monday, I always have creative writing class. However, the last two meetings my lecturer, Mas Dalih, could not give lesson for us as he has been in Bali for the important thing. Even though he was absent, he has sent her friend, Mbak Abmi, as the substitute teachers in his class. Actually, Mbak Abmi ever came to the class as the guest. Then, when she taught us in the first time, she played a movie “Bag It” as I’ve reviewed previously. On last Monday, she came in to class not by herself but she brought a guest. Actually, this guest is beautiful. She has long hair, pointed nose, and proportional body. She sat at the corner of the class. I talked to my friend this guest is beautiful but rather strange. Then I asked her if this guest girl or boy. Yet, she said this guest seems female.

Last Monday creative writing class was a bit unusual one since mas Dalih was absent due to his bussiness in Bali, and mbak Abmi—the temporary substitute lecturer—brought a guest as an interviewee to the class. This guest is fairly beautiful with long hair, a pointed nose, and proportional body. When she sat at the corner of the class, I said to my friend that this guest is beautiful yet a bit unusual. I asked my friend if this guest is male or female, and she said that the guest might be a female.

At the beginning of the class Mbak Abmi said that we would interview her guest based on the topic having been divided into five. Surprisingly, Mbak Abmi called this beautiful guest with “he”. Ngik… Ngok…. I was very upset at the moment. But, then, I realized that OK, it is a common view to see Waria (woman but man) came to the class.

However, my friend was wrong because mbak Abmi referred to this guest as a ‘he’ during her speech. I was very surprised at the moment, but there is no way for me to feel more awkward because meeting a "waria" is not a rare thing.

After that, this guest sat in front of us, then, introduced himself kindly. He is Olivia Sonya Aresta or we could call him with Mbak Sonya. He is from Klaten but now he lives in Yogyakarta. He has been in Yogyakarta since he was in vocational school (D3). Although he is a waria, he is a hard worker as Mbak Sonya has so many jobs. For instance, Mbak Sonya is an activist in PKBI (Perkumpulan Keluarga Berencana Indonesia) one of organization concerning about the marginal society. He is also a beauty consultant, a seller of online shop, and a make-up bride. Wowww!!!

As he is invited in front of the class, he kindly introduced himself as Olivia Sonya Aresta or mbak Sonya. He was born in Klaten, and has been living in Yogyakarta since he was in vocational school (D3). Being a sissy does not mean he is jobless. Mbak Sonya, despite his status as a transgender, has various jobs such as being an activist in PKBI (Perkumpulan Keluarga Berencana Indonesia), a beauty consultant, and a make-up bride.

Yet, who knows that Mbak Sonya has to face hard struggle in finding his identity. Until now, his family, especially, his mother could not accept him as a waria. His mother is a teacher supposed to be followed. However, she could not believe and admit to his condition. This is a kind of homework for him to get the confession and acceptance from his family.

Mbak Sonya lived in Klaten from his childhood till his senior high school. Then he continued his study in one of vocational school in Yogyakarta. Actually, when Mbak Sonya was child, his parents did not allow him to play together with boys. Her parents were afraid of him if those boys were naughty to him. Moreover, her parents preferred Mbak Sonya played with girls. However, this lead Mbak Sonya seems to be girly. She began to like making up, dressing like a girl, and playing dolls. As he was in junior high school, he usually hang out in the night and began to dress like a girl. This continued till he was in senior high school. Once he went to mall in Yogyakarta, suddenly he found that his friends were also there. They noticed Mbak Sonya in dressing like a girl then they called him. Mbak Sonya was very surprised then he threw his shoes to his friends and he ran away. Slightly, this seems to be a funny story. Yet, this made him mocked by his friends. Whenever he went to or back from school, he had to hide himself. He did want they laughed at him because he was a waria. After he graduated from senior high school, he considered to go out of Klaten to be free from those mocking. Once he heard someone said about him that he went out because his family had thrown him. Yet, he refused this assumption. He went out of Klaten as he wanted to restrain from this inconvenience that his family felt from Mbak Sonya’s decision as a waria.

However, his current success is not a result from laziness and surrender, but from his hardworking and persistence in maintaining his identity. His decision to be a sissy doesn’t gain any support from his family, especially his mother, that eventually leads into a poor relationship between mother and son.  When mbak Sonya was a child, he didn’t like to play with boys and prefer to be with girls, playing, dressing, and doing make-up Barbies. As he grew older, he even received more mocking and insult from his friends. They laughed at him when they saw him dressing as a girl, and sparking rumor that his family had thrown him out of Klaten. It was a very harsh life, but he didn’t give up.

Yogyakarta is not only a town used by Mbak Sonya to prove his identity as waria. He also ever went to Solo, Bandung, Jakarta, and Bali several times. But somehow, he feels that “Jogja is the pleasant place for me and the atmosphere is different from others”. In Jogja, he found so many lessons. For instance, he found his confidence when he was being a volunteer in Bantul. He felt that his helps were very precious for the victims of earthquake. Moreover, he found the meaning of friend. When Mbak Sonya was sick and had to be hospitalized their waria friends took care of her and were always by her side. Furthermore, he feels that her life would be more meaningful when he becomes a volunteer in PKBI. He said that it is a contract for her that does not only take one or two months to finish this project, but forever. He wants to help people, especially, waria against HIV AIDS. He also wants to prove that the identity of waria is not a mere marginal society but they have real contributions to this world by doing something useful. 

Yogyakarta is a meaningful city to him as he found peace and friends there. He found his confidence as a sissy when he was being a volunteer for Bantul earthqueake victim and PKBI, as he realized that it does not matter who you are and what your gender is. As long as you give real contributions to your society, than you can be more precious.